One month

The countdown is on until baby makes the appearance we have been so anxiously waiting for. One month or less and this baby will be here. I just wanted to make a quick post about the feelings I've been having and everything, so that I don't forget.
Things are really starting to get busy. School only has a few weeks left, so things are getting slightly stressful. We are trying to make sure everything is ready for the baby, so that we don't have to worry about that much once baby arrives. Especially since it could be any time now and with the holidays and finals coming up, it might get a little bit interesting.
Isaac seems to be moving along. He is very excited and doesn't seem to be nervous. I, on the other hand, am getting more and more nervous. I'm not really nervous that anything will go wrong, or that it won't all work out the best way possible. I'm not scared of what will happen, or the labor process. I think the main thing I am the most worried about is the unknown factor of it all. I don't know when it's going to happen, and that is what terrifies me most. I know that everything else will be just fine, and I know that baby will be healthy and strong. I have had a feeling the entire pregnancy that this baby is going to make an early entrance into this world. I never thought it would be overly early, but I've felt that it definitely won't be a 40 week baby. The closer it gets, the more I feel like that is correct. Which makes me feel nervous because I don't feel ready yet. Do you ever feel ready? Probably not. I wasn't very worried about it, until at my last doctor appointment, my doc said baby was probably about 3 1/2 pounds (34 week appointment). Now that was two weeks ago, and since I've had the feeling that baby will be early it makes me nervous that baby won't be big enough. I know that it will all be fine, but it doesn't stop me from worrying. I've really felt my nesting kicking in these last couple of days, and I really haven't been able to sleep very much. Everyone says that I look so small, and yes I would agree. I just don't feel like my body is going to be able to stretch much more, and I think maybe that will be the reason baby will come sooner rather than later. I guess we will see.
I've also been very concerned because the baby is always in the wrong position. Last week, the baby's feet were in my pelvis, and head was in my ribs. With around 5 weeks to go, this isn't exactly what I was hoping for. There have been several different major movements, but none of them have resulted in baby being head down, or anything close. Any time the baby has done major flips, I've definitely felt it, so I know there is limited room in there. It makes me nervous that baby is going to be breech, or transverse (which has been the absolute favorite position for the last ten or so weeks). I definitely am carrying a very stubborn baby, which is no surprise.
I came across this video again today, and it makes me feel better. No matter what happens, or when it happens, I will be getting a sweet little baby to love and take care of. Of that I know for sure. It doesn't necessarily matter how this baby comes, or when at this point. Officially at 36 weeks, baby can function most likely very well.
I can't wait to see where the next month's adventure will take us.

When all is said and done

This has always been one of my favorite songs. It brings out the reflective side of me.

"When all is said and done, as the season slips away when I've taken steps beyond my sight, will I find my strength in greater light. Will my courage grow with every passing day? Will my faith be constant as the setting sun when all is said and done? When all is said and done, and the years have turned to gold, will my life become a legacy of the things that matter most to me? And will I want to be the person I've become when all is said and done?...... When all is said and done, when my eyes can finally see.. will i glory in the sweet release and will mercy fill my soul with peace? Will I kneel in wonder at the Savior's feet, will I hear him say "well done", when he sees who I've become, Will i live with him, when all is said and done?"
Am I doing everything I need to, to become the person that I need and want to become?

Rough Day

Every now and again, it's normal to have a rough day. But it's not usual for us to both have rough days on the same day.
It's been the kind of day, that I just had to keep telling myself, "It'll all work out, everything will be fine." Because, if I didn't, I felt like I would've just lost it.

It's days like today, that really make me appreciate the good days. And also, to help me realize just how amazing Isaac is. When we have struggles, they build us so much closer together. I don't think I could've picked a better man to marry. He understands when I'm frustrated, and tries to help me through it. And I hope I do the same to him. I hope that I am as good of a wife, as he is a husband.
There are always blessings in every day, even though sometimes, the bad seems to outweigh the good. I like to think that Heavenly Father is just trying to prepare us for the next great thing to come. That's why we have hard times, so that we can appreciate the good times when they come.

This talk is the best, I recommend it:
Come what may, AND LOVE IT!

Even on days like this, I can say, I AM BLESSED. I have so many things to be grateful for.
So here's for hoping that tomorrow will be better.

“If our lives and our faith are centered on Jesus Christ and his restored gospel, nothing can ever go permanently wrong. On the other hand, if our lives are not centered on the Savior and his teachings, no other success can ever be permanently right.” —Howard W. Hunter

Isn't it beautiful?

Isn't life beautiful when everything starts to work out? Just when you are at your wits end, and you have so many things you are worrying about, everything always comes together. Maybe not the way you expected, or even wanted, but in the way that was the best for you.

A few weeks ago, I was stressed out beyond reason. I needed to find a job, Isaac and I need to find a place to live, I was overwhelmed with school, stressed about random wedding things, and I didn't know how in the world I was going to do it all, or if it would even work out.

But alas, it all has worked out so far. We have found a place to live, we sign the contract next Monday. I am going to move into there, and then Isaac will slowly move his stuff in and then we will both live there after we get married. It is so perfect for us. It has a washer/dryer. It is a half of a block off campus, and the size that we wanted. AND, it won't break the bank! :) It is unfurnished, and luckily we have all of the furniture that we will need. Between my parents, and others giving us many things. I can't wait to marry my sweetheart and move in together! It will be an adventure.

I have had several job interviews, and currently have been offered one job, possibly two. I will be able to work, and help out with the finances! WHOOP! :) I should have a job by the end of the week. Not a moment too soon.

School has been fine. I am making it through my last science class. Since I decided to change my major, I no longer have to take summer classes (bonus). I was also able to withdraw from Anatomy & Physiology. Which was a blessing in disguise. As it has freed up a bunch of my time, and made it easier for me to accomplish so many things. It has also decreased the stress in my life by about 100 million percent. Which in turn has made it easier for me to be able to have a little bit of time to do small things for the wedding.

It's amazing what happens when you have faith that everything will work. When you have someone by your side who helps you with everything. I am so grateful for Isaac, and for the amazing person that he is. He is selfless, and always so willing to help me with everything. I am also grateful for our families and for all of the things that they all do to help us out. Most of all, though, I am grateful for my Heavenly Father. He wants me to succeed more than anyone, and I know that he places things and people in my life to help me succeed to my best ability. That's why He has given me the opportunity to marry Isaac. To learn and grow in ways that I cannot do by myself. So that I can realize what is really important in this life, and to learn what I came here to do. But also, so that I can feel the encircling power that love is. Every day, I am more and more aware of what love is. A portion of it is caring so much about someone, that you will do anything for them. You will put their happiness above yours. Wanting them to be successful, and doing anything to help them get there. It is through the love that Isaac shows me, that I realize just how much my Heavenly Father loves me.

Eyes on the prize

“Don't you quit. You keep walking, you keep trying, there is help and happiness ahead. Some blessings come soon. Some come late. Some don't come until heaven. But for those who embrace the gospel of Jesus Christ, they come. It will be alright in the end. Trust God and believe in Good Things to Come.” 

- Jeffrey R. Holland

This man is one of my favorite apostles.

This quote has been EVERYWHERE lately. I probably can't count on one hand the times I've seen it this week. Must be meant to be. Sometimes, I just want to give up. Give up waiting for my sweet boy, give up college, give up my hopes, and give up my dreams. Just plain give up.

Life gets so hard sometimes. At this time in my life, there are so many things attacking me, just willing me to give up. 

Luckily, there are small things here and there that help me out. 

-I got an A on my chemistry exam this week. That is one of the biggest blessings ever. I have struggled so much with chemistry in the past. Last semester, I took this same class and didn't do so well. Since I needed an A, I had to retake it, and lucked out with the best professor.

-My friend Miranda, while talking to her today, told me to look up this talk , which is also by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland. This man is incredible. And so is this talk. He is definitely inspired of God. 

-Quotes. For some reason, quotes help me out when I am struggling. Whether religious, song lyrics, or just common quotes. I have quotes and sticky notes of adapted quotes all over. Written wherever I can write them.

"Things that were hard to bear are sweet to remember." -Seneca

One of those days

Have you ever had one of those days, where everything seems to fall into place?

I love those. Especially on days like today. Good mood day. Chemistry is AMAZING. I actually am understanding it this semester, and it is incredible. I discovered that since I now understand it, I am enjoying learning about it.
Weirdest thing. 
Everyone told me I'd hate chemistry. Turns out they were wrong. Story of my life. Everyone told me I would hate ISU, they were wrong on that one too.
Life lesson #1- don't listen to other peoples advice on such things. Don't hate something or not do something, just because someone else says they didn't like it. Learn from experience. Take a chance on something. If you feel it is right for you, then go for it. Don't let anyone else tell you that you shouldn't do it. No one knows what is best for you, other than you and Heavenly Father. Listen to those instincts.
Life lesson #2- everything will be exactly what you make of it. If you want to have the best time, you will. If you want to succeed, you will. Positive thinking can get you far in this life. On the same aspect, if you think you will fail, you will. Have faith, and you can do anything.
Sure there will be bumps in the road, but if you are prepared for them when they happen, they will be all the easier to deal with. Prayer and scripture reading have helped me more than I can ever even explain, especially lately. Each time I have a great day, I think about the things that could've caused it. It always comes back to those. Each time that I just have a completely crummy day, I think about what I did wrong, and it is always that I have forgotten these essential things.

I love this gospel of Jesus Christ.
It means everything to me, and I have no idea what I would do without it. On days where I am just struggling and can't seem to do anything right, I still manage to feel the spirit. I cannot imagine what it would be like to have those days even more frequently, with no spirit involved. I would not make it through.
Luckily, I don't ever have to find out what it is like. And you don't either.

First Day

So. I'm a sophomore in college. When in the world did that happen?!

I've come to a conclusion about life/college/happiness. I can get through anything as long as I have these four things.

1- M.otivation

2-O.ptimism

3-M.orning prayers

The drive and will to do with my life exactly what I want, especially in college. The positive attitude that I am completely capable of doing anything. My Heavenly Father on my side, starting the moment I wake up, also having enough faith to get me through each day. And my mom. (See what I did there, clever I know). With these things, I feel as if I can take on the world.This is going to be my slogan, or motto this school year/semester.

It helps that I know this kid comes home in about 4 months! :) I just love him.

Elder Wood

I am so proud of my missionary. He is absolutely incredible, and is serving the Lord with all his heart, might, mind, and strength. He is doing his absolute best, and doing all that he can to serve the people of Canada. I love him more and more each and every single day, and I know that he loves me also. He continues to be the best, and puts his whole heart into what he is doing. And that is especially true with missionary work. Isaac doesn't do anything half way. Always 150%. And that is one of the many things I love about him. He is such a hard worker. He loves Heavenly Father more than anything else, and his testimony shines right through him. In the way he behaves and carries himself, and the way he treats others. Isaac is one of the most Christ-like people I know. He is always thinking of others and their needs, and always puts other people first. He would do anything for everyone that he loves. He may be small in stature, but he is not a small man. His personality, testimony, and faith are enough to fill an entire room. He has so many talents, and so many amazing things about him. I am so extremely grateful that I have had the opportunity to have him in my life, and so glad that I continue to be blessed with his presence. I am also grateful that he is serving the Lord, and that has always been one of his main goals in life. To follow the commandments. I love him with all of my heart, and look forward to the day when I get to see him again.

6.5 months people. Only 6.5 more months! :)

I'm investing in my forever.

Adversity

Keeping this in mind. Everyone has a hard time every once in awhile. You are never alone. Your struggle may not be as big as someone else's, but that doesn't mean it is easier to deal with.

To go along with that, "come what may and love it!" This man has always been and forever will be my favorite apostle: Elder Wirthlin

"...every tear today will eventually be returned a hundred fold with tears of rejoicing.."

Sunday

Sorry about the length, I promise it is worth it. But, at least read the very last paragraph! :)

Wow. Do you ever have those Sundays where you go to church and get so much out of everything? Where it seems as if everything is relevant to what you are either struggling with, or what you need to be working on? Or where you just feel like you learn so much? Today was one of those Sundays for me. I haven't had one of these in a long time, and I am so grateful for the reminders I have been given. I recently moved back home and today was my first official day in the YSA branch here. I already love it. There is nothing like being in a YSA ward/branch. I can always feel the spirit much more strongly there because of the quietness and relate ability of the people around my age.

To start off, when I got in my car, I changed the radio station to the sounds of Sunday station. It always brings the spirit to my day. I was lucky enough to hear this tune on my way to church, which just so happens to be one of my favorites (I also heard it on the way home): 

I was a little late to sacrament meeting, but only a few minutes. I was able to sit near the front, which is my favorite place to sit because it makes it easier for me to focus on the speakers. There were 3 speakers in sacrament meeting. They each spoke on 1 faith, 2 repentance, and 3 then Baptism and the Holy Ghost.
I am only going to share a couple of my favorite things from each talk.

In the talk on faith: Having faith is simply making a choice to have faith. All you have to do is make a conscious effort. In the talk on repentance: Christ will not condemn you for your sins, as long as you take the time to repent and become better. In the talk on baptism and the holy ghost: The past is to be learned from, not lived in.

After sacrament I was asked to give a talk, my first one in over a year. I am actually kind of excited. But only kinda. The funniest thing about it though, was that my assigned topic is something that I have had a lot of experience with in the past year. It was a reminder that no matter where you go, the church is always true, and the Bishopric/Branch presidency truly are guided men of the Lord. More to come on that talk later.

Sunday School was also incredible. It was on Mosiah 25-27. There were so many different things talked about, and I just loved so many things. But my favorite thing came from 25:10; When they thought of the immediate goodness of God.... God loves each and every one of us. He awaits the day that we want to come back into the fold or repent of something that has been keeping us from him. As soon as you decide to stop sinning, and come back to God, he is right there to immediately receive you and take you back. I know that this is true, even with small sins or something as simple as not regularly reading the scriptures. He is always willing to take us back.

Relief Society was downright incredible. The lesson was on two different conference talks from April 2012. The Laborers in the vineyard by Elder Holland and The Merciful Obtain Mercy by President Uchtdorf.
President Uchtdorf says in his talk:
"My dear brothers and sisters, consider the following questions as a self-test:
Do you harbor a grudge against someone else?
Do you gossip, even when what you say may be true?
Do you exclude, push away, or punish others because of something they have done?
Do you secretly envy another?
Do you wish to cause harm to someone?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may want to apply the two-word sermon from earlier: stop it!"
Towards the end of the lesson, she had us each think of one person who we need to forgive for something they have done to us or for someone who just drives us crazy. I thought of someone who I used to be really close with, but over the years we have become the opposite of close. There were a few exchanges between us that were a little less than friendly (okay a lot less), and I have despised her for about a year. I don't usually hate people, and I don't hold grudges for more than a few days, but with her it has been different.
The teacher then went on to say that she was going to give us one minute of silence to vent in our minds about this person that we had chosen. After that minute we had to let all of that go, and forgive them. We had to move on and forget it. We had to merely STOP IT! She said, "You don't get to be the one to decide if those individuals deserve to be forgiven. You must forgive them. The Lord will decide if they truly deserve that." You and I have no right to decide who deserves to be forgiven of what. Everyone is fighting their own battle. We each need to "strive a little harder, to be a little better."

Past the Point

Here is a snippet of this incredible song from Hilary Weeks' new album. I love it! It is called Past the Point.

It is super inspiring, and reminds me what I am capable of. Which, more often then not, I forget, and need reminded of.  Just when I think that I can't do something, and lose faith in myself, my Heavenly Father proves in small ways just how much He loves me, and how much potential I have. I was down on myself today while studying, and this song came on. It was just what I needed to hear to remind me. Chemistry is kicking my butt. But, each time before I study and do homework, I read my scriptures and say a prayer. That is the only reason I am making it. I have great things to accomplish in this life, and without Heavenly Father's help, there is no way I'll be able to do even half of them. He makes everything possible, because He knows I can do it.

Lyrics: 

Lock me up
That's what you'll have to do
If you're gonna stop me
From getting where I'm going to

I try to keep
The sun from coming up
Or the tide from rolling in
Now that I know what I'm capable of
Cuz every time I wanted to stop, I kept running
And every time I hit a wall, I climbed
I've broken the bands of my self-limitations
Gonna go until I've gone

Past the point
Beyond the mark
Further than I ever thought I could
Out of the dark
Into the light
Just like He always knew I would
And when Heaven tells me I can
I believe it

No storm
Not a wave of fear or doubt
No chains of disappointment
Could ever hold me back now
'Cause every time I want to stop, I'll keep running
Every time I hit a wall, I'll climb
I'm breaking the bands of my self-limitations
Gonna go until I've gone

Past the point
Beyond the mark
Further than I ever thought I could
Out of the dark
Into the light
Just like He always knew I would
And when Heaven tells me I can
I believe it

There it is
Right in front of me
Just a few more steps
Just a few more breaths
And I'll get

Past the point
Beyond the mark
Further than I ever thought I could
Out of the dark
Into the light
Just like He always knew I would

Quotes