Inspired

Isaac isn't supposed to email me, so he never does. He has a couple times before, for important things, like about finding him an apartment for next semester. So when I got an email this morning, I was pretty shocked. I hadn't expected it, and never have. I had a particularly rough weekend, and missed him more than I have in a really long time. Last week, school was really hard, and I struggled a lot. I expected my weekend to be good and stress relieving, but for some reason it just wasn't. There were some great parts to it, but it just didn't make up for the stress and letdowns I had had throughout the week. I woke up this morning not knowing how I was going to get through the next few weeks. But decided to just put a smile on and trudge through it.

So to get an email during a break between classes, was an inspired thing.

Somehow, Isaac always knows when something is up. Even from a different country. But hearing from him is like an instant stress-relief.

 "Hello :) I just wanted to write a quick email letting you know that I was thinking about you. How is school going? .......... I hope that everything is going well. I am sure that you are doing well :) ..............  Thank you for everything. You are amazing :) I love you!!"

 Love this song by Hunter Hayes, but also loving it by these two! 

"You know I'd fall apart without you. I don't know how you do what you do. Everything that don't make sense about me. Makes sense when I'm with you."

50

Yep, yet another post counting down. It's kinda a huge deal to me. Don't want to hear it, don't read it :)

Anyways. I love Isaac DeMar Wood. Pretty much ecstatic that he comes home in 50 DAYS!!! A lady at work asked about my dating life, and then she remembered that Isaac comes home soon. She instead asked how long until he comes home. It took me a minute to think about it, but I sorta freaked out when I figured it out. "50 days! 50 days? 50 DAYS?!?!"

While driving today, this song came on, and I cried. It is the truest thing there ever was.

Also, I got a letter from him on Saturday. For the first time in three months. And boy was it good to hear from him. He sure does love me. All those doubts, that build up after waiting so long between letters, disappeared the second I saw that letter sitting in my mailbox. Each day that I went without a letter was made up in that two page (front and back) letter. I've spent the majority of the past two years not getting letters. Which has been the hardest, best thing. I've been able to become strong, and not rely on that communication. But to rely on the communication between my Heavenly Father and I more. Going anywhere from 2 to 3 to 6 months at a time between letters, made each letter that much more special. And somehow, it made me fall even more for that sweet missionary. Knowing that he has put the Lord first, always.

80

80 seems like such a large number, but I promise it is small. When starting with 730, 80 is nothing. Nothing but a blink of the eye. This is the amount of days that Elder Wood has left as a missionary. Bittersweet moment for both of us, I'm sure.

In the next 2 and a half months:
80 days
less than 2 transfers
a few baptisms
many lessons
very few letters
a lot of growth and learning
2 Anatomy tests
3 Chemistry exams
1 Halloween
1 Daylight Savings
1 presidential election
1 Thanksgiving
2 Birthdays (Isaac's and my sister)
1 Anatomy final
1 Chemistry final
1 Christmas
1 New Years
1 dentist appointment
a lot of excitement and anxiousness
January 10, 2013

July

Wow. What a month. I'm sure glad it flew by, and it doesn't seem like it even came to begin with.
I've been meaning to blog about so many things the past few weeks. But I just haven't had time. Working these two jobs, sleeping, and eating are pretty much what I have time for. I do have a few things that I want to document though, but it is going to take a few posts.

I got a letter. About two weeks ago. I checked the mail that day, and it was sitting on top of the stack right inside of the mailbox. Before I reached into grab it, I just wanted to cry. Almost six months of waiting for it, and there it was. Part of me was worried it would confirm my worst fears, or that it would be better than I had hoped for. It made me realize just how much I love him. It didn't say anything too significant, but it was a letter. And, that in and of itself was significant enough. My favorite sentence, "I hope because of my neglect that you don't think my feelings have changed towards you, because they haven't one bit. I love you Mariah. I know that I haven't showed it recently, but I do. I love you." He is such an incredible missionary. I love when he shares his experiences, struggles, and successes with me. Knowing all of the great things he is doing makes this time so much easier. "I am definitely not the same 19 year old boy that arrived in the MTC 18 months ago. It is hard for me to notice the changes because I have seen the whole process but I can tell that I am different." I am so incredibly proud of him. He is learning and growing so much, becoming even more amazing than he was when he left. He loves sharing this gospel, and I can tell just by reading his words that his testimony is growing.
He comes home pretty soon. One whole semester, and then he will be here. That is the weirdest thought, I am getting so used to him being gone. But, boy, am I excited!! :)

Letter fast

*Notice that is letter fast, not fast letter..*
 
Lately has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Switching from feelings of anger, sadness, happiness, love, and every other emotion in between. Each day is completely different, and sometimes changes hourly. That is what happens when you are a drama queen with something bothering you. I've been waiting to blog about this, and debated it a billion times. But, I am feeling optimistic and empowered today, so I'm going to do it.

Ps. Ignore my obnoxious face. And the glare of the light. Also, be grateful this wasn't a kissy picture, if he would've had his way, it would've been :)

This absolutely amazing man who is incredible beyond reason has not written me a letter in almost 5 months. Which, folks, is almost one quarter of his mission. But, that is okay. sortof. I know that he loves me, more than almost anything. He always has. But, he loves the Lord more than me, [which is soo good! :)] so he is serving with all his heart and mind right now. I am learning patience and how to wait for the things that I want most, (I still have a long ways to go on the patience part..). But I look forward to when I get to have THIS moment (in about 6.5 months, but who's counting ;)...



I know that the second that I see him, these two years will be more than worth it. I just need to keep looking up! I got this.

Fix you

Sometimes love sucks. The only person I want is off limits for another nine months. Not to mention far away, what seems like a bajillion miles away. What makes matters yet worse is that I haven't gotten a letter in two and a half months. And before that, it was two and a half months.
Every time I am upset or have just had a rough day, the only thing I want at all is for him to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be okay. But. I can't have that. Not yet.

I wouldn't really do this :) but, it speaks truth.

This is probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Among everything else that isn't going right. Having the perfect relationship, and then having to wait two years to get it back, is the hardest thing. But. The best things in life are worth the wait. And, Elder Isaac DeMar Wood is the best thing. I miss him more than words can ever explain. The countless times I would go to him bawling, and he would just hold me and let me cry. Every time after I was done crying, he would give me the biggest hug and tell me that everything would be okay. He believed in me. Then, he would give me a reason to smile. That boy makes me smile bigger than the sun. Nobody else has that power. I miss him.
9 more months. I've got this. three eighths to go. thirty-five percent left.

Change

Crazy how much can change in a short time. Sometimes the plans we have, aren't really what is meant for us. Heavenly Father prepares us for things before they happen.To make them easier to deal with, and to make us open to different options.

 

I do not know what is going to happen in my future, except that it will make me happy. I do not know who I will spend eternity with, except that he will make me happier than anyone else. Right now, I am enjoying dating. Not anyone in particular, or any more than one date. Last year, last month, or even last week I could've told you without a shadow of doubt who I was going to spend eternity with. Right now, all I can say is that some things happen for a reason.Sometimes we all need a little change in our lives to help us progress and become better. Some changes are unexpected and out of the blue, but embracing them seems like the best option.

Excerpt from an email

This is from a letter I sent to Elder Wood, I felt like sharing parts of it, (okay most of the letter):

I don't have too much to say this week. Except that I love this semester. It is the best. My classes are going so well, and everything is going well. I'm taking harder and more classes, but I think it is off to a good start. I'm really looking forward to this time in my life. I've been having so much fun lately, and have still been able to accomplish all of the things that I need to. I haven't been stressed once since I came back this semester. I am so happy. I know I will have times of hardship and trial, but I think that I'll be able to handle it. My testimony has been strengthened so much in the past two-three months. I feel like a completely different person when I think about it. So much has happened and I think I have become a better person because of everything. This gospel is amazing, and it never ceases to amaze me how much my Heavenly Father loves me. He has put the most incredible people in my life that have helped me through all of my struggles. I have the best family anyone could ever ask for. And my friends, are absolutely incredible. Miranda is so much like me it is ridiculous. I'll have to send you a picture. We look quite a bit alike, and we have been through a lot of the same things. She always helps me when I am having days of doubt. She is an angel in my life. Rachel is beyond amazing. She is so incredibly good. And always helps me and reminds me of what is right. There are so many other people that have impacted me over the past few months. So many angels that Heavenly Father has placed into my life to help me through. I love this gospel with all of my heart. I have noticed that when I am optimistic and put a smile on, that everything goes so much smoother. I am grateful to be going to Idaho State University. It was the best decision I have ever made. I have learned so much. Not just in classes, but about life. About growing up, and myself. This has been the best experience I could've ever asked for. I know, beyond a shadow of doubt that this is the true church. That no matter where we are in our lives, and no matter what we are going through, Heavenly Father knows each of us. He loves us and wants what is best for us. My institute class is incredible. I've only had it twice this semester, but I can already tell that it is going to be something great. I have come to the realization that I cannot rely on anyone else for my happiness. I must find it in and through my Savior and Redeemer.

Canada. Oh Canada.

Dear Canada.

Although in the past, you haven't been my favorite country. And you still aren't my favorite. But. My favorite person currently resides within your borders. I would appreciate it if you would be ever so kind as to resume your mail system. This would make my life a lot better, easier, and less stressful. You see. Every day I go and take a trip to my mailbox. Sometimes multiple times a day. Waiting. Waiting. Ever waiting for the day that I might get a letter. Also, I've been thinking. You could maybe move up to my favorite country if you would be willing to send a letter or two my way. But that is a big maybe. Thanks Canada. Take care of my boy. He sure is a great guy. Send a few investigators his way. I would appreciate it. He is so excited to be serving his Heavenly Father in your land. The day he got his mission call. OH BOY. He was sooo excited. He talked about it for MONTHS. He loves you Canada. You'd better treat him well.

Much loves,
Mariah


PS. Here are a couple mission pictures I found blog stalking his mission president's wife's blog. Confusing, yes.


This one is the most recent. He is on the back row. 2nd from the left. Wearing a red looking tie.

I love this. His very first day in Canada. He just looks so excited to be there :) He is the fourth from the right. Dang cute too.