Motherhood

My thoughts on motherhood.

I was always worried that I was going to absolutely hate being a mom. I was convinced that I would have children because it was just what was expected of me. I was never baby hungry, but toddler hungry. I have always loved children, and knew I would have some someday. I did want to skip the newborn phase, though! I wanted to skip straight to a two or three year old. I was worried, especially towards the end of my pregnancy that I was going to not like it that much.

I am so very glad that I decided to become a mom. It has been the best thing I have in my life. I have LOVED having a newborn. She has been a dream for the most part. There is absolutely nothing better than snuggling a newborn baby that is your own. I had no idea how much love can exist in the human body until I had Eliza. I mean, I love my husband, and my love for him always grows. But the love a mother has for her child is one of a kind, and is indescribable. Having the love for my husband, which has grown since having a baby together, and the love for my sweet baby in my body all at the same time is quite the feeling.

My appreciation for my own mother has grown tremendously as well. She came and stayed with us for a week when we first got home from the hospital, and she continues to give me great advice when I have no idea what to do. I have always been grateful for her, but now I understand a lot of the things that she did for me growing up.

I never realized how much worrying happens when you have to care for someone so much. For this reason, I am so very grateful for priesthood blessings. They are so very powerful, and they work perfectly with mothers intuiton. God created men and women with such powerful gifts.

There are so many things that get put by the wayside everyday, and I have come to terms with it. I am such a type A personality, and it is hard for me to not do everything exactly when I want to do it. Especially when it comes to having a clean house. But when my baby wants to be held, I love holding her. Even if it means that I don't get all the laundry folded right then. I love that she loves me and wants me to hold her. It isn't always going to be that way, and I'm taking advantage of it right now.

One of the most surprising things to me is that when I'm exhausted because I haven't gotten anything done, and Eliza has been a little high maintenance, I love seeing her smiling face. She makes everything worth it.

I was worried I wasn't going to love being a mom. But I absolutely love it. I always wanted to be a working mom, and didn't want anything else. Until a year ago, that was the plan. I'm really glad that my plan changed, I think Heavenly Father knew exactly what was best for me. I just didn't know at the time, that I am meant to have many babies and take care of them. That is my main priority in life, and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!

Yes, there are hard nights. Yes, sometimes she wont stop screaming. But this job is the most worthwhile one I have ever had. I am so excited to have lots more babies and to raise them.