In due time

In due time, I will have what I need. Not necessarily what I want, but what I need. I have learned the past week, that sometimes the Lord doesn't give us what we want. Either because it's not the right time, or because it won't make us happy and won't be good for us. He loves me. So incredibly much. With the most incredible unconditional love.
With this love comes incredibly hard challenges and trials. Trials and challenges that just make me want to cry sometimes, and I often do. I don't know why I have to go through these things, and I may never know. But the things that I need to be doing are holding on to the iron rod with all my might, having patience, and enduring. These things will pass, just like every other trial does. Sometimes I want to just crawl into bed, cry, and then sleep for the next few years. But, nothing will come of that. I need to be focusing on becoming the person the Lord would have me be. He is giving me trials, FOR MY GOOD. Although, sometimes I think its really because I'm not good enough.
And yes, I am typing this up to remind myself. Reminded indeed.
College is a whole lot harder than I imagined. But I'll be here, at ISU for the long haul. I know it is where I need to be, despite so many challenges. I have met so many incredible people that have helped me through the past few months. The past few months have been the best, most fun, hardest, most worth it months of my life. I wouldn't trade all these struggles for anything. Okay, maybe I would right now. I'd sure like college to be easy. But that isn't gonna happen. I've learned a lot, and have more still to come. In due time.
Plans change. My 10 year plan, yes I had one, has changed about a bajillion times since school started. I don't really know if I know what I want anymore. Except two things are certain:
1. A college degree (in something productive)
2. An eternal marriage with an incredible man, still to be decided
Someday, I will have both of these. #1 will be the hardest thing ever to obtain, #2 will be obtained who knows when. But, that is half the fun.